Dear Kelly

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I dislike you. I think I realized it When your dwarf bit me Under the bus and I saw you Carve your initials into My mustard soufflé. I'm sure you're Senile enough to understand That I get turned on by garbage men. I'm returning The couch cushions to you, but I'll keep My virginity as a memory. You should also know that I Told in my confession today about A new life as a clone.

Go burn,
Gabrielle